Showing posts with label free associations. Show all posts
Showing posts with label free associations. Show all posts
10 December 2009
Free Associations, Ep. 11: Song and Dance Edition
Hokey love songs? Check! Unsubtle sexual double entendres ? Check! Oddly effeminate male backup dancers? Check! Silly hats? You betcha!
05 August 2009
Free Associations, Ep. 10
Perhaps the similarities lie not so much in the characters of Ren and Stimpy themselves, but in a particular episode. In the episode Stimpy's Fan Club, it is revealed that Stimpy is by far the more popular of the duo, receiving scores of fan letters whilst Ren receives not a single one. Ren is quite hurt by this, so Stimpy attempts to make him feel better by apointing him president of the Stimpy Fan Club. This only forces Ren to read more and more of Stimpy's fan mail, which begins to drive him insane.
Ren's anger and resentment boils over in what has to be one of the most unsettling sequences ever included in what was allegedly a cartoon for kids. As he watches Stimpy sleep, Ren launches into a psychotic monologue and plots to kill Stimpy. He plans to snap Stimpy's neck, but suffers a rather graphic nervous breakdown before the deed can be carried out. The next morning, Ren disguises himself as Stimpy, and tells the mailman not to deliver any more fan mail. The mailman, however, only has one fan letter and it is for Ren. Ren viciously taunts Stimpy as he reads his fan letter aloud, only to find out that the letter was from Stimpy himself. Ren feels like a total ass, and Stimpy, ever the magnanimous one, forgives Ren.
To me, this seems like a fairly accurate parallel to the respective careers of Joan and Dorothy--the dumb one (Joan) became immensely popular while the smart one (Dorothy) suffered in obscurity. And although it (probably) never happened, the image of Joan and Dorothy doing the Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy dance is so silly that it actually causes me physical pain.
13 June 2009
Free Associations, Ep. 9A: Taking the Joke too Far
In the last installment in my series of often bizarre free associations, I ruminated on the similarities between actress Joan Crawford and dictator Joseph Stalin, two of history's most memorable megalomaniacs. The similarities, it must be said, do not end with Mommie Dearest and Uncle Joe themselves. If Joan Crawford is the equivalent Stalin, it may be said with some--although not too much--certainty that Myrna Loy is the equivalent of Klim Voroshilov.
Kliment Yefremovich Voroshilov was one of Joseph Stalin's closest and most loyal accomplices, having served alongside him during the Russian Civil War. Likewise, Myrna Loy (nee Myrna Williams) began her Hollywood career at the same time as Joan Crawford; the two appeared as extras in the 1925 MGM production Pretty Ladies, and thereafter became life-long friends. Appropriately enough, Voroshilov was appointed both the Chairman of the Revolutionary Military Council and the "People's Commissar for Military and Navy Affairs" that same year. Myrna would receive an honorific title of her own, eventually attaining the rank of "Queen of Hollywood" in 1938 (not quite the same thing as Marshall of the Soviet Union, but it's in the same ballpark).
Naturally, there are a few minor differences. Primary among these must be the fact that Myrna never threw her former comrades under the proverbial bus for the sake of purging opposition from the party (although she might have, had Joan asked her to). Secondly, Myrna never had the honor of having a tank named after her (although she damned well deserved it!). Finally, it has to be said that Klim Voroshilov was rather a bumbler, both on and off the battlefield--his less than stellar leadership cost the Soviet Union tremendous casualties during the Winter War, and he later made an ass of himself by dropping the ceremonial Sword of Stalingrad when it was presented to him (whilst Stalin, Churchill and Roosevelt were watching, no less!). Myrna would never have conducted herself in such a shameful manner in the presence of her superiors. Furthermore, she no doubt would have crushed the Finnish army in a matter of days, had she been in charge.
One final thought: if Joan Crawford is Stalin and Myrna Loy is Voroshilov, I suppose that would make Christina Crawford the equivalent of Yakov Dzhugashvili.
Naturally, there are a few minor differences. Primary among these must be the fact that Myrna never threw her former comrades under the proverbial bus for the sake of purging opposition from the party (although she might have, had Joan asked her to). Secondly, Myrna never had the honor of having a tank named after her (although she damned well deserved it!). Finally, it has to be said that Klim Voroshilov was rather a bumbler, both on and off the battlefield--his less than stellar leadership cost the Soviet Union tremendous casualties during the Winter War, and he later made an ass of himself by dropping the ceremonial Sword of Stalingrad when it was presented to him (whilst Stalin, Churchill and Roosevelt were watching, no less!). Myrna would never have conducted herself in such a shameful manner in the presence of her superiors. Furthermore, she no doubt would have crushed the Finnish army in a matter of days, had she been in charge.
One final thought: if Joan Crawford is Stalin and Myrna Loy is Voroshilov, I suppose that would make Christina Crawford the equivalent of Yakov Dzhugashvili.
23 March 2009
Free Associations, Ep. 9: Special Birthday Edition
Joseph Vissarionovich Stalin and Joan Tomasovna Crawford are famous for vastly different things--one ruled the Soviet Union with an iron first while the other was the quintessential movie star of Hollywood's Golden Age. To most, that is where the similarities end. That, however, is not quite the case.
To begin with, Stalin and Crawford were both noted for their willfulness, argumentativeness and assertiveness. In fact, give the tireless way they clawed their way up the ranks of their respective professions, it wouldn't be stretching the truth too far to say that Stalin and Crawford both possessed a particular forms of megalomania. Although the difference between dictatorship and movie stardom necessitates that Uncle Joe and Mommie Dearest manifested their megalomania in different ways, there is little doubt in my mind that their eccentricities both sprang from the same intrinsic need to be great.
The remorseless way in which Stalin and Crawford pursued their respective forms of greatness meant that they both made their fair share of rivals and opponents. Stalin had many nemeses (real or otherwise) in the early days of the Soviet Union, most notably Sergei Kirov and Leon Trotsky, while Crawford viewed Norma Shearer as a hated rival, and later feuded quite famously with Bette Davis. Stalin's enemies usually wound with a bullet (or the occasional ice axe) through the brain, but Joan never quite had the luxury of being able to arrange for her enemies to meet with unpleasant ends (this is probably for the best--Norma Shearer's bullet-riddled corpse, no doubt, would have been the source of quite a scandal for the gossip rags of the day).
Stalin and Crawford were both highly conscious of how the public perceived them, though their dealings with the little people were not necessarily the same. Joan was keen to the fact that her greatness was dependent upon the approval and adulation of her fans, and sought to always stay in their good graces. Ever less nuanced in his ways, Stalin dealt with the problem by ensuring that the people of the Soviet Union knew of no alternative but to adore him. Stalin's cult of personality will remain the envy of dictators and generalissimos for centuries to come (In a way, a cult of personality for Joan has survived to this day, but it seems that most members of this particular cult are drag queens).
Nor are the personal lives of Joseph Stalin and Joan Crawford without their similarities. It should come as little surprise that they each had rough childhoods. Beyond that, however, their relationships with their families were, shall we say, a bit strained. Joan's dominion paled in comparison to Stalin's--the Crawford household was hardly the size of the Soviet Union--but what she did control she ruled with an iron fist. Indeed, Christina Crawford's Mommie Dearest is a retelling of Joan's totalitarianism. It's not quite The Gulag Archipelago, but I suppose that it springs from a similar (albeit much less bloody) sort of victimization.
After their rise to power.
No one can say for sure what Josef Stalin would have been like in Hollywood, nor can anyone be sure what Joan Crawford would have done at the helm of a totalitarian dictatorship. I suspect, however, that the end results wouldn't be all that different.
And if you didn't know, it's Joan Crawford's birthday. Merry Joansmas to all!
In their younger and more vulnerable days. Actually, I think they make quite a cute couple.
To begin with, Stalin and Crawford were both noted for their willfulness, argumentativeness and assertiveness. In fact, give the tireless way they clawed their way up the ranks of their respective professions, it wouldn't be stretching the truth too far to say that Stalin and Crawford both possessed a particular forms of megalomania. Although the difference between dictatorship and movie stardom necessitates that Uncle Joe and Mommie Dearest manifested their megalomania in different ways, there is little doubt in my mind that their eccentricities both sprang from the same intrinsic need to be great.
The remorseless way in which Stalin and Crawford pursued their respective forms of greatness meant that they both made their fair share of rivals and opponents. Stalin had many nemeses (real or otherwise) in the early days of the Soviet Union, most notably Sergei Kirov and Leon Trotsky, while Crawford viewed Norma Shearer as a hated rival, and later feuded quite famously with Bette Davis. Stalin's enemies usually wound with a bullet (or the occasional ice axe) through the brain, but Joan never quite had the luxury of being able to arrange for her enemies to meet with unpleasant ends (this is probably for the best--Norma Shearer's bullet-riddled corpse, no doubt, would have been the source of quite a scandal for the gossip rags of the day).
Stalin and Crawford were both highly conscious of how the public perceived them, though their dealings with the little people were not necessarily the same. Joan was keen to the fact that her greatness was dependent upon the approval and adulation of her fans, and sought to always stay in their good graces. Ever less nuanced in his ways, Stalin dealt with the problem by ensuring that the people of the Soviet Union knew of no alternative but to adore him. Stalin's cult of personality will remain the envy of dictators and generalissimos for centuries to come (In a way, a cult of personality for Joan has survived to this day, but it seems that most members of this particular cult are drag queens).
Nor are the personal lives of Joseph Stalin and Joan Crawford without their similarities. It should come as little surprise that they each had rough childhoods. Beyond that, however, their relationships with their families were, shall we say, a bit strained. Joan's dominion paled in comparison to Stalin's--the Crawford household was hardly the size of the Soviet Union--but what she did control she ruled with an iron fist. Indeed, Christina Crawford's Mommie Dearest is a retelling of Joan's totalitarianism. It's not quite The Gulag Archipelago, but I suppose that it springs from a similar (albeit much less bloody) sort of victimization.
After their rise to power.
And if you didn't know, it's Joan Crawford's birthday. Merry Joansmas to all!
13 March 2009
Free Associations, Ep. 8
I'm not sure even I can explain this one. Just rest assured that Broadway day is a very dangerous day.[Image sauce]
17 January 2009
Free Associations, Ep. 7: "Jag Vill Ensam Vara"
Both Garbo and Dead were reclusive and esoteric, and both seemed entirely absorbed in their respective arts and in their own cultivated personae, and certainly both were known for their, shall we say, distinctive voices. Both were dour and brooding, and were rarely caught smiling; neither of them were known for their humor. Finally, both are remembered by posterity for being titans in their respective crafts.
Of course, I'll be the first to admit that they have their differences--Dead didn't wear gowns by Adrian, was never nominated for an academy award and could never conceivably be linked romantically to John Gilbert. Likewise, Garbo never buried her clothes for days before wearing them on camera, didn't keep a dead bird in a bag for the purpose of "inhaling the smell of death" and most likely wasn't fond of self-mutilation (at least not to the point that she had to be taken to the hospital for blood loss). Finally, the two died under vastly different circumstances--Garbo lived to the ripe old age of 84, whereas Dead committed suicide at age 22 (and in quite a grisly fashion, I might add).
I can only imagine the chaos that would have ensued had Garbo killed herself at the height of her fame (although I can imagine that Joan Crawford would have taken pictures of the gruesome scene before reporting it to anyone, much like Euronymous did. She just seems like that sort of gal).
Regardless of their fellow actresses or bandmates, however, these two secretive and unusual personalities will always bear an eerie similarity in my mind. And you should count yourself lucky that I didn't decide to throw ABBA into the equation!
Addendum: As it turns out, Greta and Dead are buried in the same cemetery: Skogskyrkogården, in Stockholm.
17 November 2008
Free Associations, Ep. 6: Our Blushing Aqua Teens
Last night I watched Our Blushing Brides--one of those flicks which, for reasons that shouldn't be too hard to figure out, holds a special place in what passes for my heart--for the second time. In case you aren't familiar with the film, Our Blushing Brides is a proto-chick-flick from 1930 centering around the romantic misadventures of three shop girls living together in a cramped New York flat as they try to eke out a living in the early years of the Great Depression. Our heroines are played by the Holy Trinity of Joan Crawford, Dorothy Sebastian and Anita Page.
Beneath all the coats of MGM varnish and gold plating, Our Blushing Brides is, at heart, a cautionary morality tale for the working girls of the era. Connie Blair (Anita Page) and Francine "Frankie" Daniels (Dorothy Sebastian) are fed up with the inglorious drudgery of working for meager wages in a department store, and allow themselves to be swept up away by wealthy heirs, only to wind up broken-hearted (or worse). Meanwhile, Geraldine "Gerry" March (Joan Crawford) keeps to the straight and narrow, good little trooper that she is. I rather enjoy this decidedly blue-collar subtext; it's rather the antithesis of the "princess" ideal that Disney movies and other cultural forces like to ram down the throat of our nation's impressionable youth.
...But I digress.
Prior to watching Our Blushing Brides, I watched a few episodes of the popular animated series Aqua Teen Hunger Force. On the surface, these are two entirely different things that have nothing to do with one another--the proverbial apples and oranges. Yet there certainly is some common ground between the two. I had my suspicions after watching Our Blushing Brides the first time around, and after a side-by-side comparison, it now seems to me that the character dynamic among Gerry, Connie and Frankie is eerily similar to the dynamic among Frylock, Meatwad and Master Shake.
To begin with, Gerry March and Frylock are the moral and responsible corners of their respective triangles. Seemingly motivated by an almost parental affection, they try to point their friends in the right direction, but more often than not their noble efforts meet with failure, with the result that they must bail their friends out of difficult situations. Gerry never shoots lazer beams or thunder bolts from her eyes as Frylock often does, although I suspect that she does possess the ability.
Connie Blair and Meatwad, meanwhile, are the dopey, short-sighted but still essentially good ones. Their gullibility lands them in hot water, particularly in conjunction with their occasional spurts of ambition. Yet once again the point of divergence is the matter of superpowers--that Meatwad is (fittingly) an amorphous wad of meat allows him to take different shapes (most commonly a hot dog or an igloo). As she is unable to metamorphose herself in such a fashion, poor Connie's modus vivendi lies in her less-than-stellar perfume selling skills.
Finally, there comes the matter of Frankie Daniels and Master Shake. Prodigal and avaricious, shiftless and crafty, these two tend to resort to underhanded means and elaborate schemes to get ahead in the world, typically with tragic (or hilarious) results. Yet in spite of all this, one gets the impression that they are still basically good somewhere deep down inside. Neither has any particularly useful super powers, barring their penchant for snarkiness. Frankie is also significantly less malicious toward Connie than Shake is toward Meatwad--as I recall, she never puts Connie (or her cat) in the microwave.
I still don't know who would be the OBB equivalent of Carl, though. Maybe Robert Montgomery.
Beneath all the coats of MGM varnish and gold plating, Our Blushing Brides is, at heart, a cautionary morality tale for the working girls of the era. Connie Blair (Anita Page) and Francine "Frankie" Daniels (Dorothy Sebastian) are fed up with the inglorious drudgery of working for meager wages in a department store, and allow themselves to be swept up away by wealthy heirs, only to wind up broken-hearted (or worse). Meanwhile, Geraldine "Gerry" March (Joan Crawford) keeps to the straight and narrow, good little trooper that she is. I rather enjoy this decidedly blue-collar subtext; it's rather the antithesis of the "princess" ideal that Disney movies and other cultural forces like to ram down the throat of our nation's impressionable youth.
...But I digress.
Prior to watching Our Blushing Brides, I watched a few episodes of the popular animated series Aqua Teen Hunger Force. On the surface, these are two entirely different things that have nothing to do with one another--the proverbial apples and oranges. Yet there certainly is some common ground between the two. I had my suspicions after watching Our Blushing Brides the first time around, and after a side-by-side comparison, it now seems to me that the character dynamic among Gerry, Connie and Frankie is eerily similar to the dynamic among Frylock, Meatwad and Master Shake.
I still don't know who would be the OBB equivalent of Carl, though. Maybe Robert Montgomery.
18 October 2008
23 September 2008
Free Associations, Ep. 4
I never would have figured Rosalind Russel as a fan of Drone Doom. Her neighbors must hate her subwoofer.
11 September 2008
31 August 2008
18 August 2008
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